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FAIRLY NEW
The Writing Craft
Weekend has developed some special columns to help aspiring columnists. If you want his insights, they're here for free. And, boy, they're worth it.
Lousy Tips on Writing Light
Opportunity is Everywhere

Oh, and one more bit of work.
For my boys. And me.
A Bug Hunting Afternoon

NEW Fans Write In!
Are you ever in for a treat! Let's dive into the fan mail....
Weekend's Mailbag

Don't Forget
Where You Are
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or add it to your favorites!

The Family Way -- An Intro
Get the inside scoop on Weekend and his family. Meet his lovely wife and see how they met. Learn the history of mankind and other touching stories.

LIFE IN PICTURES

There is something special about taking the family on a long road trip. Next year, we may discover what that is, but for now we have this one.

Read Weekend's exploits -- and even get to see photos of his real family -- as we explore the rain-soaked West Coast of Vancouver Island. Visit the zoo. See Science World. Be stunned by giant trees. Ask, "Are we there yet?" for the thousandth time. It's a summer adventure worth coming along for.

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MORE COLUMNS TO ENJOY

Streaming Content
There are two things we husbands don't do. And one of them is crawl around under a toilet. Or dishes. And vacuuming, which is a third thing, but while I am at it let me add ironing. But foremost among these is crawling around under a toilet.

Of course, this is because we were once eight years old.

Pig in a Poke
As a man, I do not like visiting our family doctor. Like many general practitioners, he has a fancy sheepskin diploma framed on the wall and a box of latex gloves on the counter. The diploma apparently authorizes him to use the gloves any way he sees fit. Fortunately, the frame is placed low on the wall, so you can still read it while bent over the table.

That way you know it is not actually that diploma he is inserting.

Man's Best Fiend
Back in the Stone Age, man domesticated wild dogs to help with the hunting and other important chores, such as smelling other dogs' butts. Grok the Accident Prone was one of the first dog owners. Unfortunately, Grok's amazing trained dog was killed one morning when the paperboy accidentally hit Snappy in the head with the local tablet.

I am only kidding. Snappy actually went on to outlive the paperboy, primarily by eating him moments later.

How a Guy Does Christmas
Because you are a husband like me, you have obviously enjoyed trimming the tree with your family. Or, more likely, you have let your wife and kids do it themselves while you enjoy something more important, such as the football game.

Give and Take (But Mostly Take)
After several years of cleaning dishes by hand, my lovely wife recently acquired a built-in dishwasher. And when I say "built-in" I mean it is the cheaper portable model.

How to Stay Alive
What I want to know is, how does a guy suffocate in an oxygen chamber? I can imagine the gas being turned off without a fellow knowing it, while he relaxes in the chamber reading Time and slowly turning blue. But I for one would notice the color change and, perhaps a little slowly at first, get out and pleasantly ask my wife not to do that again.

How to Stay Thin and Alive
Sliderule calculations project that the average 45-year-old housewife today will be eating more than a million calories an hour by the time she is 65. Her husband will still be asked, "Does this dress make me look fat?"

"Not at all, honey," he will say as the gravitational forces stretch him out over six light-years.